Each time I travel, I smile as the flight attendant dispenses this ancient wisdom: "Please be certain to secure your own oxygen mask first, before offering assistance to your child." What I hear is this simple truth: If you do not take care of yourself first, you will have nothing of value to offer your children or anyone else. Realizing this is the first step toward becoming what I call “ennobled,” and it’s vital to both our well-being and our kids’.

It’s easy for parents to get consumed by the never-ending list of responsibilities, activities, needs, and requests we must meet day-to-day. You probably expend a lot of energy giving your child the right nourishment. Do you also remember to feed yourself? Not just with wholesome food, but also with solitude, friendship, play, and all the other activities that 'fill you up.' So many parents don't even realize their own deep hunger. I remember thinking, "Hey, whose job is it to give me the kind of loving care and nurturing I give to my own child, and when will it begin?"

How about now! I love the clean objectivity of a chart as a way to gain perspective, so let's start with your calendar. Look at your weekly schedule and chart everything you do: carpool; laundry; paying bills; driving children to lessons and games; cooking; reading; yoga; caring for your own parents; meeting with friends, and, of course, working.

Highlight in one color all the time you spend doing activities for your children, then use another color to show all you do for others. Now go back through, in a different color, and highlight the time you spend on yourself. What do you notice? Without making yourself or anyone else wrong, can you simply be curious about the results and say to yourself, "Isn't that interesting?"

We all want to be healthier, more balanced, and more sane. In fact, the root meaning of the word sanity is health. With this awareness, make the commitment to create more balance in your life by adding in more things that nourish you. Perhaps you want to create more time alone, take yourself out for tea at your favorite café, or spend more time with your sweetheart or friends.

Regularly schedule a day to “securely fasten your own oxygen mask first, before offering assistance to others.” Start small and set yourself up for success. Choose just one simple change for yourself in your daily or weekly schedule.

Now watch for the magic to happen. As your own inner compass aligns itself with your best sense of the best of you, just watch how you magnetize, beginning to attract those who are more able to see you at your best.

Only you know what fills you up. When you regularly drink deeply from that well, you will nourish yourself abundantly and have plenty left over for the ones you love.