Nobody knows the rewards (and challenges) of foster parenting better than the parents who have been there. So, here are just a few stories from people who discovered that being the best thing that ever happened to their child was also the best thing that ever happened to them.

Mark and Marilyn West:

My husband and I thought about adoption for a number of years before we finally took the first step of attending a foster care orientation class. I attended the classes to obtain information (I didn’t know if our family would be considered “suitable” because my husband and I both worked). The orientation classes quickly taught me that there was a critical need for families of all shapes, sizes, and flavors, which included working parents, so I was reassured on that point.

As we started thinking of the easiest child to fit into our family, we told our daughters, then 12 and 15, that we were looking for a school-aged sister for them, perhaps someone 5 to 8 years old. We were, we thought, done with raising infants. However, when the social worker called, and asked us to foster a baby, our thoughts turned to the child, unnamed, faceless, a stranger. Even though she was all of those things, she was also a real child, in need of a home and a real family—she needed us. My heart wouldn’t let me say “no” to this particular child who needed our family. That was four and a half years ago, and Zoë has been a blessing to us every single day of those four and a half years. She became a permanent member of our family through adoption three years ago.

Before Zoë arrived, when we first considered foster care, I was concerned that a foster child might disrupt my birth children’s lives, perhaps bring chaos to the family because of reactions to prior abuse and neglect. Zoë has indeed brought chaos to our home, but it’s the turmoil of princess dress-up shoes inexplicably popping out of couch cushions, dozens of little mismatched socks destined to never find their mates, and teddy bears and dolls battling with cows and elephants for space on the bed. We feel blessed that we found the inspiration to say “yes” to this child who needed us, because we didn’t know then, as we know now, that there was a spot in our family, just waiting for her to arrive.

Kelly Steagall and Farah Martin:

Kelly and I have been foster parents for the past three years [through Placer Kids]. At first, we only wanted to foster children between the ages of 3 and 7, but we have really opened up and grown. We have learned something from each child that we have nurtured in our home. Since starting foster care, we have had a child of our own. She was 6 months old when we took in our first sibling set. We were not sure how things would work out, but they worked out for the best. With each placement our daughter grows as well, and when it is time for the children to leave, we make it a celebration that they are able to go back to their parents. Sometimes it is hard to say goodbye to the children that really touch our heart, but as a concurrent family, we know that sometimes reunification is the best option.

Tom and Rena DeLacey:

We had thought about fostering for about 3 years before walking into the Foster Care Pre-Service classes at Woodland Community College. In June of 1997 we learned that a child we knew and cared about had been placed into protective custody; it was she who gave us the motivation and courage to step into action and get licensed as Yolo County foster parents. That child was Erin, now our adopted daughter, a blessing and beacon of light that forever changed our lives. Erin may have been our initial motivation; however, after getting licensed, we gladly accepted a sibling group of three brothers, ages 10, 6 and 4. We fostered them for twenty months before they transitioned to a wonderful adoptive home; gladly we stay in contact with them. Our family has fostered thirty children over the course of the last nine years. Children have returned to birth parents, grandparents and adoptive parents, and we have adopted our three daughters: Erin, Emily and Stephany.

In 2001 we decided it was time to welcome a baby girl into our family, our daughter Emily. As part of the foster care team, we worked with her birth parents toward reunification; after months of visits and going to court, it was decided that it was best for this child to stay with us as a permanent member of our family. We proudly adopted Emily at the age of 2.

In 2004 we learned that Erin’s younger sister was in need of a foster home while her birth family worked through reunification services. Two years later, after reunification efforts ceased, we finalized Stephany’s adoption, making our family what it is today.

Our beacon of light and goodness, Erin, passed away on March 28, 2007 at the tender age of 21 from complications related to lymphoma. Whenever she heard about a child coming into care, she would say, “Come on Mom, what’s one more?” Our family will continue to carry on Erin’s wishes by parenting kids that need a foster home, working day-to-day to improve their lives and make a difference in their future.

Laurie Crist:

Foster care gave me a family, so it has a very special place in my heart. I have distinct memories of being 3 and begging my mother to tell me how to have children. I’d planned the traditional married, one boy, one girl route, but when that didn’t work out, I turned to the Yolo County foster care system. My first foster placement, a 3½ year old charmer named Todd also became my first adoptive son. We worked through many challenges with the support of county and state programs, and when he was 15, realizing that he was absolutely the best thing that had ever happened to me, I decided that I needed to do it again. Three-week-old Jeremiah was placed with me a little over two years ago. Though his birth mother tried very hard to reunify with him, it didn’t work out for her, and I was lucky enough to become his adoptive mother in July of this year.

My two boys have given me much more than I have ever given them: love in unending supply, laughter, and a wonderful reason to get up every morning. Ok, so I’d rather not be getting up at 6, which Jeremiah seems to think is the best time, but you can’t have everything…just nearly everything. Part of that “everything” has been the extended family made up of other Yolo County foster and adoptive parents and children, county employees, and college staff. Their friendship and support provides that famous “village” so often spoken of, that is helping to raise my boys in an atmosphere of kindness and trust. Perhaps that support net is why being single, working full-time, and being on the other side of 50 has not prevented me from having the best time of my life creating my family, perhaps not the family that I’d planned, but infinitely better than I’d ever hoped.