There are many potentially beneficial nightmare remedies that parents, family members, and even siblings can use to help a child break the spell of a disturbing nightmare. “The Four R's” that spell nightmare relief for children are: Reassurance, Rescripting, Rehearsal and Resolution.

The Four R’s

Reassurance is the first and most important dimension of remedying children's nightmares… Reassurance quells the post-nightmare jitters and allows you and your child an opportunity to discover both the creative possibilities and the source of what sparked the nightmare that may still be disturbing your child.

Rescripting means encouraging your child to imagine changes in their dream’s outcome, either by reenacting or rewriting the plot. Rescripting2 is like assertiveness training for the imagination. Ominous dream monsters, demons, and werewolves can be tricked and trapped, tamed and leashed, given time-outs, bossed around, and generally made less intimidating. With parental assistance, the child can be taught to revolt, overthrowing her dream oppressors by magical means such as fairy dust, a wizard's wand, spells, or other handy tools of the imagination. Very often, developing and rehearsing solutions to dream dilemmas gives kids increased confidence in facing waking conflicts.

One of the most enjoyable aspects of resolving nightmares is helping your child create their own repertoire of "Magical Tools" for dream assertiveness. Just as garlic or a crucifix repels a vampire or a silver bullet kills a werewolf, magical tools can be chosen to disarm a specific character in a recurring nightmare. A special spray might repel ghosts or an invisible shield might protect from a gunman. Other tools of the all-purpose variety include the old reliable magic wand, Luke Skywalker's "force" from Star Wars or even trusty police tools such as handcuffs or a secure jail cell with the key thrown away!

But beware of using violence in fantasy solutions to bad dreams. Suggesting the murder or destruction of a dream foe may subtly encourage violent solutions to life problems. On the other hand, encouraging creative, nonviolent assertiveness in working out dream battles may lead to better, more constructive problem-solving skills in kids’ waking lives.

It’s also important to remember that rescripting has its limits. While it can reduce the frequency and intensity of nightmares to an impressive degree, nightmares, especially recurring ones, are messages—even warnings—from within that we are overwhelmed by a new situation, crisis, or chronic conflict such as a custody dispute or marital conflict. When there is a persistent problem in a child's life, we may need to go beyond reassurance and rescripting to discover solutions to the life problems that set off the dream. This leads us to the two final R's—rehearsal and resolution.

Rehearsal is practicing solutions to a nightmare's various threats. Going a step beyond the new endings or magical tools used in rescripting a nightmare, rehearsal involves repeating the dream and its solutions in various forms until a sense of mastery or accomplishment has been achieved.

Resolution is the final stage of alleviating nightmares. Preliminary steps include discovering the source of the nightmare in your child's life and working towards acknowledging and even correcting the life problem that has caused the nightmares. Resolution can only come after a child feels secure enough (reassurance) to explore new solutions through art, writing, drama, and discussion (rescripting) and has practiced those solutions (rehearsal) with a parent or adult guide.

Keep in mind the major emotional issues affecting your child, such as the birth of a sibling or starting at a new school, and you’ll start to identify the probable sources of a nightmare. As distressing as nightmares can be, they offer powerful information about issues that are distressing your child and open up possibilities for resolving important emotional challenges.

Excerpted, with permission, from Dreamcatching by Alan Siegel and Kelly Bulkeley. To find out more about The Four R's, read Dream Wisdom by Alan Siegel: www.dreamwisdom.info. You can contact author Kelly Bulkeley at www.kellybulkeley.com.