By Sue Leto Cole

It seems like just a minute ago, Erik’s mom was happily announcing in a sing-song lilt, “Time to open presents!” Now Erik is on the floor crying while the rest of the children sit in a circle, waiting, hoping—even praying—that Erik can get it together enough to finish opening his presents, so they can get back to having fun. It’s no one’s fault. Erik is, after all, just 3 years old. Still, his parents are embarrassed, and the rest of the grown-ups look on sympathetically while the tantrum rages on.

So, what's up with Erik? He wants all of his presents, he is indeed quite certain that he needs all of his presents, but having to first open each card, then the present, say “thank you” to the gift-giver, and set the present down (without actually removing the plastic, or playing with the item), all before going to the next gift in the pile, is a challenging lesson in manners, patience and gratitude, and Erik has had one too many sugary birthday treats to cope.

Parties should be about friends, family, celebration and fun. Maximize the fun, and keep the present opening to a minimum, by trying any of these tips:

• Have the birthday child open the present from each guest as he or she arrives.
• Have the gift bearer “help” open his or her present.
• Open the gifts after all of the guests leave. (If Grandma wants to stay, let her.)
• Keep the gifts simple. Ask for homemade presents or small used gifts.
• Skip presents altogether. (Yes—You really can do this when they’re little.)
• Have a special place for the gifts (preferably up high) after they are opened.
• Have a fun activity scheduled after the presents. This plan of action has two benefits: It keeps the opening time brief, and it gets the birthday child focused on something else while you whisk the presents away (maybe to that up-high, out-of-sight, out-of-mind place).

There are plenty of moments in life to teach manners, patience and gratitude—let your youngster enjoy their birthday celebration and save the lessons for another day.