Is Your Sadness Making Your Kids Sick?

School, meals, sports, activities, entertainment, homework… As a parent, it’s hard to know where to draw the line between your own needs and those of your children. With all the demands that come from raising a child, it is understandable, and even normal, for most parents to feel stressed and overwhelmed. But if you have been feeling sad or empty; lost pleasure in ordinary activities; have difficulty concentrating; have had changes in your sleep or eating patterns; feel guilty or helpless–and have experienced these symptoms for more than two weeks–then you may be suffering from depression, anxiety or a similar disorder.

Unfortunately, depressed women with children are less likely to seek treatment than those who are not parents. (Maybe it’s all those activities that keep them running around, or maybe it’s that habit of putting the kids’ needs before their own.) But leaving depression untreated can actually affect your children’s health. According to researchers from the University of Colorado, children who have at least one parent who is depressed are more likely to have emergency rooms visits, see medical specialists or visit their pediatricians due to illnesses. The study also found that teenagers with at least one depressed parent are less likely than other teens to get medical check-ups and routine preventative care.

Other studies have shown that children with depressed parents also exhibit more behavioral problems and are more likely to suffer from depression or anxiety themselves, due in part to the environmental stress of living with a depressed parent. Acknowledging the problem is the first step to getting help and taking care of those you love.

October 11 is National Depression Screening Day. For a free, anonymous online screening, visit www.mentalhealthscreening.org. You can complete a brief questionnaire to gauge the likelihood that you might be suffering from depression or a related disorder, and find out what you can do to improve your health.

Or, use the checklist below, and read the tips that follow, then talk to your health care professional. Depression, like any illness, is treatable, and when you take steps to improve your own health, you’ll improve your kids’ health and happiness too.

Are You Depressed?

The National Institute of Mental Health offers the following information to help you identify if you may be depressed. Put a check mark next to each statement that sounds true for you:

• I am really sad most of the time.
• I don't enjoy doing the things I've always enjoyed doing.
• I don't sleep well at night and am very restless.
• I am always tired. I find it hard to get out of bed.
• I don't feel like eating much.
• I feel like eating all the time.
• I have lots of aches and pains that don't go away.
• I have little to no sexual energy.
• I find it hard to focus and am very forgetful.
• I am mad at everybody and everything.
• I feel upset and fearful, but can't figure out why.
• I don't feel like talking to people.
• I feel like there isn't much point to living; nothing good is going to happen to me.
• I don't like myself very much. I feel bad most of the time.
• I think about death a lot. I even think about how I might kill myself.

If you checked several items, call your doctor for an appointment and bring this list with you. Ask to be evaluated for depression.

Tips for Coping with Depression

Depression is not something you just “get over.” However, there are things that you can do to help yourself even as you seek professional help and wait for treatment to take effect. The National Institute of Mental Health offers these recommendations:

• Expect your mood to improve gradually, not immediately. Feeling better takes time.
• Break large tasks into small ones, set some priorities, and do what you can when you can.
• Try to be with other people and to confide in someone; it is usually better than being alone and secretive.
• Participate in activities that may make you feel better.
• Mild exercise, going to a movie, a ballgame, or participating in religious, social, or other activities may help.
• Postpone important decisions until the depression has lifted. Before making a significant transition, such as changing jobs, moving, or getting married or divorced, discuss it with people who know you well and have a more objective view of your situation.
• Remember, positive thinking will replace the negative thinking that is part of the depression and will disappear as your depression responds to treatment.
• Let your family and friends help you.