Female Bonding

By Amy Crelly

I love my friends! In fact, I consider hang-time with my girlfriends an absolutely crucial part of my mental and emotional health regimen. We're pretty good about getting together at least once a month for game night or dinner or a hike, or the occasional full-on Girls' Night. In between visits, we've got phone calls and coffee breaks and emails to tide us over. My friend Kirstie once forwarded an email with news from a study that found women actually get a hormonal high from spending quality time with their female friends. The hormone was oxytocin, if memory serves, that same warm, fuzzy, feel-good bonding hormone that helps women bond with their babies and bliss out while breastfeeding. It was scientific proof of all we knew from experience: female bonding is good for you! If you're looking for a way to reconnect, here are two good ways to guarantee some quality time with friends (and that not-mom, not-wife part of yourself they bring out):

Start a Book Club
If you can’t remember the last time you had a grown-up conversation that didn’t revolve around the kids, then, sister, the time is now! You and your friends can each take turns hosting at home, or commandeer a centrally-located coffee house, a quiet restaurant or your favorite wine bar—zero housework or hostess duties required! You can also share the task of picking a book. For “Book Club How-To” tips and reading suggestions, check out One Book Sacramento at The Sacramento Library's Web site.

Book Club Lite
Not the speed-reading type? Me either. Who has time to finish a full-on novel before that monthly meeting, and with the holidays approaching fast? Fahgetaboutit! Here’s a technically sophisticated solution that still gives you time for a life and a great excuse to gather with friends (consider it Book Club Lite):

Just send an email to friends along with a link to a short article or essay you found online (something moving, racy, controversial, hilarious or otherwise fascinating), then set a date and time, brew some coffee, pour some zin, or go for a walk – just make time to gather and reconnect. Hopefully, you won’t stay on topic long, but here are a few suggestions to get you started:

• “Breast Fed Up” and other offerings at DivineCaroline.com 

• “No Sex, Please; We’re Parents” and more essays at Babble.com

• “I Get It Now” or any of the blogs here at Sacramento Parent.com