Prenatal Screening

extra-ordinary kids:
Prenatal Testing: To Screen or Not to Screen?

by Jon Buzby

My wife and I decided to find out if we were having a boy or a girl early on in our second pregnancy—note how I say “our” pregnancy, even though I didn’t carry or deliver anything.

On the much-anticipated day of our level-two ultrasound, the nurse gave us the exciting news: another boy… another Jets fan; another sex talk; hand-me-downs; no wedding to pay for… My mind raced.

The doctor came in as usual to double-check things. “Everything looks fine,” he said, “but –” It was then that my heart sank.

He told us that our baby had a thicker-than-normal skin behind his neck, an early indication of Down’s syndrome. The doctor very calmly explained that due to my wife’s age, our chances of having a baby with the disability were 1 in 5.

He finished up the exam, gave us our options from there, and quietly left the room. My wife sat up and burst into tears. A normal reaction I’m sure.

We were offered the amniocentesis with our first son, Riley (he had no indications of Down’s), but we declined since we knew it wouldn’t change our plans to have the baby. We followed the same thinking with this pregnancy.

But then, over the next few days, our “It’s a boy!” news seemed to have a cloud hanging over it (even though we didn’t share the other news with anyone).

The more I thought about it, the more convinced I became that we needed to find out for sure, one way or another. I was convinced that no matter how much we were mentally prepared for the 1 in 5 chance, if a slim hope remained that he wouldn’t have Down’s syndrome, but he was born with the condition, it would be a sad day for us, our family and our friends.

And that wouldn’t be fair to our newborn son.

I believed if we found out ahead of time that he did have Down syndrome, although we would be sad initially, we could prepare ourselves and others. So we had the test done. We found out he does not have the extra chromosome that would indicate Down’s and that he shows every sign of being healthy. Like any parents would be, we are relieved.

As I’ve told our story, people have applauded our decision to find out, mainly because of our reason for doing it: To ensure that the day little Tyler John came into this world would be as joyous an occasion as his brother’s birth.

To me, it seemed the only way to make that happen was to know ahead of time. Had the test results been different, there definitely would have been a period of sadness and adjustment, but there also would have been time for acceptance.

Our entire family and closest friends could have learned together about all the wonderful things a child with a disability can bring into a family’s life, so that on the day he did come into the world, we would hear nothing but, “Congratulations!” and our only tears would be tears of joy.

Jon Buzby is a syndicated columnist and father of two boys (ages 16 years and 18 months), with another boy on the way. E-mail him at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .