Making friends 101

By Lyla Tyler, MFT
Member of California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists

Q: My 5-year-old daughter has autism. I find that most of the time when we come in contact with people, they just don’t know how to interact with her (especially during play dates with other children). What’s the best way to encourage positive interaction?

A: As your child’s most trusted guide to the outside world, you can make social situations easier by helping your daughter rehearse and prepare for playtime situations. Your goal is to give your child a sense of competence and to help her enjoy social interactions. Start by role-playing with her, engaging in social play as if you were a peer. You can role-play what a good friend acts like, as well as what unfriendly actions look like, and help her learn how to respond. Taking turns is another important skill that you can practice with her.

Practice these skills with your child until she becomes familiar with them then introduce her to one child to practice. Explain to the parent that autism is a brain disorder which makes communication (verbal and non-veral) and social interaction more challenging. Also explain your intention: to have their child help your child learn social skills. You’ll want to choose a more mature child and explain to that child that she can help your child learn how to play and be a friend.

Early intervention is key in treating autism, and social skills training is an important part of treatment. Like everyone else, individuals with autism need good social skills to help them lead successful lives. Ask your school district for help in developing an Individual Education Plan (or IEP) for your child. The social component will be a large part of this plan, along with other necessary components such as speech services, occupational therapy and a behavioral plan which might include a social skills group.

Lyla Tyler is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a Registered Play Therapy Supervisor with a practice in Downtown Sacramento. You can learn more and contact her through her Web site, or to find a therapist near you, visit www.TherapistFinder.com.