Happy & SAHD

Happily Ever SAHD

By Terrah Tillman, MFT

Q: My wife and I have decided that I will be a stay-at-home dad (SAHD). Any advice to help make sure this experience is a positive one for me and my family?

A: I applaud you for taking the opportunity to be a stay-at-home dad! More dads are finding themselves staying at home with their children while their spouses work, and dads are doing a great job! Research shows that children benefit from having an active and involved father, and children of these dads are more successful in school and in peer interactions.

ODD MAN OUT?
Though SAHDs are increasing, dads still report encountering a stigma. People may think, “Did he lose his job? Is he unmotivated?” Dads sometimes also have a difficult time fitting into a female dominated world, and they may feel out of place being the only dads at playgroups and school activities.

For any parent, staying at home can be daunting and isolating, so it’s important to build a support network and connect with others doing the same thing. Look for chat rooms, blogs and community groups designated for SAHDs.

KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT
I encourage you and your wife to discuss your expectations and feelings about each other’s roles. Aside from caring for the kids, the stay-at-home parent may be expected to do more household chores and daily errands.

When considering what to do when staying at home, ask yourself, “What do I want my child to gain from this experience?” Children do well with routines and structure, so you can plan your day with a predictable schedule. You can join play groups and activities, for example.

There are many benefits of being a SAHD, but the biggest may be feeling more confident about your parenting skills and enjoying a closer relationship with your children.

Terrah Tillman, MFT, has a private practice in downtown Sacramento. She specializes in treating families with young children. You can contact her at  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .