Leap of Faith

By Jamie Smith*

My husband, Wayne, and I started doing foster care six years ago. As a preschool teacher with foster kids in my class room, it was very clear to me what a difference a caring and committed foster parent made in the life of a child. These children really opened my heart to the idea of becoming a foster parent. I talked to my husband, and we took a leap of faith and went through the process to become foster parents. We have had many children in our home since we started doing foster care—some for as short as a couple of weeks and some much longer. We didn’t go into foster care with the intention of adopting, but meeting our son, John, changed everything.

John came to our home when he was four years old. He had been in foster care since he was two and lived in several different foster homes, experiencing several losses for someone so young. Because of this, he built some tall walls for us to try to scale. When he became available for adoption, we knew it was going to be hard to find an adoptive family for him who would be willing to help him deal with his challenging behaviors.

We were torn—we didn’t want to see him leave our family but hadn’t intended to adopt. Wayne and I discussed it. We knew John had created a tough exterior, but we also saw his potential and knew he was a great kid. We decided we would apply to be John’s adoptive family. Our agency, Families For Children, took care of everything for us—they helped us complete all the paperwork, handled all the court filings, and did the home study, all at no cost to us. They really supported our family through this journey. John’s adoption was finalized when he was five years old.

I wouldn’t say it has been easy for us to break through John’s defenses and help him understand that he is our child forever, but with extra patience and love, John is now a thriving six-and-a-half-year old. We can’t imagine our family without him. The experience has been great. In fact, we are open to adopting through the foster care system again. Many children in the system waiting to be adopted don’t have any experience in a “regular” family. We want to show these children what being in a family is all about—commitment, love and security. There are so many great kids out there, from toddlers to teens, all waiting for a family, and you can have an immediate and direct impact on their happiness and success. People sometimes tell me how lucky John is that we adopted him. I like to tell them, “We are the lucky ones!”

*As foster parents, Jamie and Wayne must maintain confidentiality. Their last name has been changed for that purpose.

Jamie and Wayne live in Sacramento County. They currently have seven children at home, one biological, one adopted and five foster children. Their adoption agency, Families For Children, is a private non-profit with offices in Sacramento and Roseville.