Grand(er) Parenting

By Shelly Bokman

When my kids were little, Grandpa would send each of them a letter with a stick of gum inside. How they loved that simple stick of gum, and their grandpa! Grandparenting comes easier to some than others. I’ve tried to figure out why but have officially given up. Still, knowing that kids need all the positive, encouraging adult influence they can get in their lives, it makes sense for parents to foster that relationship. How, you ask?

• Give your child time alone with Grandma or Grandpa. Kids are different when we’re not around, and this lets them truly get to know each other.
• Encourage your children to ask questions about life when Grandma or Grandpa was a child. These stories can give kids a whole new view of their granparents.
• Require respect from your children, even if Grandma gives really slobbery kisses.
• Remind your parents that they have hobbies and skills to share with your youngsters. Whether it’s baking, building a birdhouse or growing gigantic zucchinis, kids will remember these times spent together.

• As your kids get older refrain from sharing your frustrations about your parents.
• Remind grandparents about the struggles you went through as a child or teen. If your child is challenged in school or with other teenage issues, that doesn’t make him a “bad apple.” You got through it, and your child will too.
• Grandparents don’t have to shell out for Disneyland trips to spend time with their grandkids. Reading stories, walking the dog, playing card games—sometimes the quietest moments make the best memories.

While each family is different, we all benefit from caring, loving relationships. And encouraging that closeness is simple, sometimes as easy as offering a stick of gum.