Cross-Dressing Tot?!

Q: Our 3-year-old son likes to play dress-up with princess costumes and high heels, just like his big sister. I’m fine with it, but my husband is worried. Could this cause any gender confusion?

A: Three-year-olds are watching and learning from everyone around them. They demonstrate what they have observed and learned in everyday life through their play, allowing their imaginations to branch out and blossom. As you have seen with your son, children of this age are also exploring different roles through their play, which is what seems to be happening with your son’s interest in playing dress-up.

Why would he want to do this? I would bet that your son has observed his sister pretending she is a princess and wants to join in on the fun! He may love the sound of high heels clicking on the hardwood or the sight of himself looking like Cinderella in the mirror. Either way, this is normal and nothing to be concerned about.

I imagine your son can correctly tell you that he is a boy. Most children understand gender differences by age three. It is not until about age five that children tend to play with more gender-specific toys and identify more with their gender, male or female.

I would tell your husband that imaginary play is a normal part of your child’s development and that he has nothing to worry about. Don’t humiliate or tease your son—in fact, be grateful that he is happy, playful and getting along with others. This can be difficult for some 3-year-olds.

Lyla Tyler, M.S., MFT is a registered play therapist based in Sacramento and a member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT). Learn more at www.TherapistFinder.com.