Preschool Play Skills

Q: My five-year-old daughter graduated preschool, but I worry that she isn’t as social as other kindergartners her age. How can I encourage her to interact with her classmates?

Since she has experienced preschool, your daughter has likely already developed many of the skills needed for kindergarten, such as sharing, taking turns, listening, following directions and cooperation. And you are probably already aware of how your daughter feels and acts in a group situation. Is she shy or unfriendly? Is she timid, or does she act aggressive, pushy or insensitive when she is in a group? Does she prefer to play alone? Along with your own observations, feedback from her preschool teacher can also be helpful.

To help ease the transition, give your daughter the chance to socialize in small groups or play dates at your home. Invite some preschool parents and their children over for an afternoon of play or structured activities at your house. Let your daughter visit friends and gradually allow her to be away from home for longer periods of time. Teach her ways to connect with peers by sharing or talking about her favorite toy, activity or sport. Check recreational resources in your neighborhood or city. Libraries, parks, art galleries and schools may offer events or programs for her age group.

I encourage you to show enthusiasm and excitement about your daughter entering kindergarten, but respect her preference as a leader or follower when she is in a group. Not all children are “social butterflies.” Also, be aware of your own stress or anxiety relating to the kindergarten transition. I also encourage you to share your concerns with other parents—it's likely they are experiencing similar feelings.

Karen F. Hefler, LMFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in Sacramento and a member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT). For more info, visit TherapistFinder.com.