Separation (No Anxiety)

By Lisa Mitchell, MFT

Q: My 8-year-old son is getting ready for his first overnight summer camp. How can I help him prepare for his first trip away from home? How do I prepare myself?

A: Developmentally, your son is just starting to master the social rules of relating to peers and becoming more independent and trusting of others. To make sure he’s ready for this first summer camp experience, look for these signs:

• He knows how to join groups.

• He pays attention to his physical needs and shows initiative to satisfy those needs. (When he’s cold, he gets a jacket; when he’s hungry or thirsty, he knows how to ask for food or drink, or gets it on his own.)

• He trusts adults in his life and doesn’t show separation fears in familiar settings.

If you see that he is ready, celebrate! Your child has taken a great developmental leap, and you have done wonderful things as a parent to help this happen. Plan special things to do with your spouse, your other children, or friends—even enjoy some time to yourself—while he’s gone.

To help your son get ready, encourage him to talk about any worries he might have, and to ask lots of questions. A child’s fears are often fueled by not knowing, and an 8 year old will tend to imagine the worst rather than fill in the blanks with facts. So it’s important that you help him find any facts he needs.

When it’s time to leave, offer your son a transitional object. A pillow, stuffed animal, or a special stone, something from home that he can hold, will help him through any homesick moments. You can also have him help plan a welcome home party to celebrate his camp success.

Lisa Mitchell., MFT is a registered art therapist based in Sacramento and a member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT). Learn more at TherapistFinder.com.