School Tactics to Try at Home

Try these tips for creating calm at home, too

By June Allan Corrigan

Maintaining order in a classroom full of kids is no easy feat, but you’d be hard-pressed to find a teacher who doesn’t rank discipline as their number-one priority. You just can’t teach without it. “Helping children learn acceptable behavior also encourages their self-esteem and gives them a solid emotional foundation for learning,” says Dianne Small, Director of Carmichael Montessori Academy.

If you’d like more harmony at home, why not take a tip (or five) from the pros? And realize your dream of jackets hung up, toys shared nicely, and children sitting quietly at the dinner table—with these five classroom discipline tactics that work at home, too.

#1: Discuss the rules

“On the first day of school, I outline the basic rules,” says Barbara Yeamans, a third-grade teacher. “I also let students brainstorm to create a class mission statement.” She finds children behave better when they feel involved in the rule-making.

At home...

With younger children, make consequences (both positive and negative) for different behaviors very clear beforehand, and follow through. (“Put your toys away, and we can go to the park!”) With children who are old enough to reason, discuss what kind of behavior would help your household run best. Draw responses out of them. Ask them, “Why is it good to put toys away when you’re done playing?” or “Why don’t we play ball in the house?”

#2: Post a plan

“A plan is essential,” says Patty Corrigan, who teaches fourth grade. “Not only does it give structure to the day, but it calms a child to know what is coming up next.” She lists the order of activities on a white board for students to reference (Reading: 9am, Math: 10am, Recess: 10:45am). Students often remind her if she forgets to write something down.

At home...

Outline your daily and weekly plans on a calendar or dry-erase board in the kitchen. It’ll give your household an idea of what’s coming up next, whether it’s a piano lesson at 4pm, soccer game at 5:30pm or a visit to Grandma’s house on Sunday. Let your kids add stickers or draw pictures on the schedule. Everyone will feel more comfortable having a general idea of what to expect.

#3: Create routines

“Everything runs more smoothly with firm routines in place,” says Lori Anapoell, a literacy teacher at Sage Canyon Elementary in Carmel Valley. When children know what to do and when to do it, fewer behavior issues crop up and independence is fostered.

At home...

Identify the tasks you expect your children to complete every day, like brushing their teeth after meals or putting dirty clothes in the laundry hamper. Walk them through the steps. Show them the proper amount of toothpaste to use and where the hamper is located. Practice simple household routines until they become habits.

2 More Tactics to Try
These ingenious little tips come from Dianne Small, Director of Carmichael Montessori Academy:

Act like a video game, Small advises. “When we do something correctly, we get all the bells and whistles, more points—even an extra ‘life’ or two. But when something is done incorrectly, we get nothing but ‘Game over—start again.’” Parents can respond to unwanted behavior in the same way. “Give attention to the things you want repeated, and ignore or take away something for behavior you want to stop.” After all, Samll adds, “Parents are their child’s favorite toy.”

Practice "work before play." “This works in many cases where children want something that might cause a tantrum. Give the child a job to do first, even if it is as simple as picking up a piece of paper or one toy from the floor; then they can have the desired activity.” This helps children learn several things: Deeds have rewards; we work first then play; and patience pays off.

#4: Reward good behavior

Instead of constantly harping on students’ shortcomings, education professionals prefer to practice positive reinforcement. “When I would see a child picking up trash on the playground or displaying good manners at lunchtime, I’d hand them a ticket from my ‘good guy basket,’” says Dr. Susan Mahler, a former kindergarten teacher and retired principal. “The goal was to collect five tickets and earn a special reward such as an extra recess.”

At home...

When your child picks up her toys or clears her plate from the table without prompting, recognize her efforts. Say “Great job!” Every so often reward her good behavior with something more tangible such as a small toy. Praise the things she does right so she’ll do them again.

#5: Stay a step ahead

Recognizing and heading off potential problems—before they erupt—is what great teachers do best. “When I have a student who is too chatty, I’ll seat her with quiet, focused kids,” says Lori Anapoell. “I’ve given some real fidgety kids a squishy ball to squeeze while I teach a lesson, and some have even been allowed to chew gum. It makes a huge difference in their behavior.”

At home...

Identify the times your child is likely to misbehave and prepare strategies to avert the problem. If she’s prone to meltdowns in the supermarket, have some crackers or a book on hand. Or put her in charge of placing items in the cart. Preventing problems from happening in the first place is really what effective discipline is all about—both in and out of school.

June Allan Corrigan is a freelance writer and mother of two who has worked as a kindergarten teacher.