Creating Families

Once Upon a Family...

These children’s book titles about foster care and adoption offer support for caregivers as well as kids.

By Shelly Bokman

The very first foster care placement I had was two brothers, ages 5 and 12. As the kids got ready for bed the first night, the littlest one asked my daughter if she was going to sleep at this day care center too. The older boy looked at me with sad eyes and said, “He doesn’t understand.” And he didn’t. How could he?

Explaining foster care and adoption to young children is tricky. Attachment to birth parents can be strong even in the case of abuse or neglect. We all need to believe that our parents love us, want us, and are capable of taking care of us. Unfortunately that’s not always the case. The following books were all written for 4- to 8-year-olds, but some are appropriate discussion starters for older children too. And all are helpful to parents and caregivers wondering where to begin.

Tales of Foster Care 

Maybe Days  (APA, 2002)
by Jennifer Wilgocki and Marcia Kahn Wright
illustrations by Alissa Imre Geis 

Highly recommended by foster parents, this book explains how “the system” works and addresses every frustration and question a child has.

Murphy's Three Homes  (Magination Press, 2008)
by Jan Levinson Gilman
illustrations by Kathy O’Malley 

Without giving children more information than they need, this book explains foster care and—most importantly—the idea that it is not the child’s fault and that they are not bad.

Kids Need to Be Safe  (Free Spirit Publishing, 2005)
by Julie Nelson
illustrations by Mary Gallagher
This book explains foster care while remaining respectful of birth families, and the warm illustrations nicely reflect Sacramento’s diversity.

Adoption Stories

A Mother for Choco  (Puffin Books, 1992)
by Keiko Kasza 

Great for very young children, this tale follows a delightful little bird as he searches for a mother and discovers that families don’t all look alike.

Oliver: A Story about Adoption  (Our Child Press, 1991)
by Lois Wickstrom
illustrations by Priscilla Marden
Oliver, a dinosaur, wonders what his real parents would be like. Meant for children 4 – 8 years of age, this story appeals to all ages and is a great discussion starter.

Rosie's Family: An Adoption Story  (Asia Press, 2001)
by Lori Rosove
illustrations by Heather Burrill 

This story addresses many of the worries and feelings that adopted children have: looking different from your parents, being sad, dealing with other people's comments, and how to talk about a birth mother. The parents’ notes at the end are helpful for discussions.

These book selections (and more) are available through your local bookshop or at amazon.com.