Humor Me: Working on Play

 I have come to the conclusion that I might not be the best play date for my 5-year-old son. Not just because I was one of three girls growing up and have no idea how to make all those spectacular banging, shooting, or car explosion noises, but add my inappropriate sense of humor to my inadequacies, and I might as well start writing the therapy checks now.

By Jeni Boltshauser

Play time at our house goes something like this: My heir asks me to play with him, I agree, and he chooses the agenda. I dread the make-believe because I have no imagination. I am a realist who never cared for sci-fi or fantasy because I never really bought into the whole Star Trek adventure. Think back to some of the episodes—can you say cheesy?  This inability to believe in anything but the perfect romantic comedy (because of course a hooker can marry a wealthy guy!) really hinders my aptitude to be Luke Skywalker against the cutest Darth Vader in the world. I am pretty sure that at no point in Star Wars does Luke start cleaning Darth’s room because he “just can’t think in this mess.” Not even in the prequels.

Then there are the forced improv sessions between me and the stuffed animals. I have never been one to spout off witty banter on the fly, so while my child looks expectantly at me, waiting to see how the charade will begin, I usually revert to acting out an episode of Cops in which the porcupine doesn’t want the zebra to get arrested because “he don’t mean no harm to nobody!” and she still loves him.

Occasionally he likes to do my hair which involves using his tools to curl and design my hair into multiple shapes using painfully installed barrettes and old scrunchies. During this beauty parlor game I usually try to get the latest town gossip by asking if he saw who so-and-so was with on Saturday night.  The nerve!

Through everything I have to say he goes along with it all, and I can usually get him into a fit of giggles pretty quickly—even last weekend when we were superheroes and I took a swig of water, choked and accidentally sprayed his entire face.

This patience will do him wonders in the workplace.

Jeni lives in Grass Valley with her husband and her often-hilarious, always-surprising 5-year-old son. You can catch her latest blog posts on our home page at SacramentoParent.com.